"You are full of bull!"

I just read an article discussing the challenges facing the new CEO of Yahoo, Carol Bartz. In the article, a former co-worker had this to say about working with Carol Bartz.

"She is the only boss who I've worked with who can look you in the eye and say, 'You are full of bull, here's what you are doing wrong,' and you feel like she's done you a favor," said Bill Coleman, who was chief executive of BEA Systems while Bartz was on that company's board.

A friend asked me the question, “How can one person say something like that and have it “work” while another person could say the same exact thing and have it end with resentment, negativity and a destroyed relationship?” Without knowing Ms. Bartz, I can explain how and why some comments said by one person can produce a dramatically different reaction then if another person were to say the same exact thing.

1.) Communication: First off, you must know how to communicate to the person you are working with. Not everyone will respond the same way to a message and, as a leader; it is up to you to know what you can say to one person that you might not say to another person. Think of it like baseball. Some batters can hit fast balls all day long, while others will swing and miss the very same pitch every time. Some batters can hit a breaking ball all day long – others prefer the curve ball. As a leader, your goal is not to strike out every batter you face. Eventually this would lead to damaged relationships and a reputation as an ego maniac who is impossible to talk to. At times, you need to throw the perfect pitch to that person to ensure that they connect. When you look at this from a communication stand point, the leader must be willing and able to adapt to employees, co-workers, board members and their customers. If you want your intended message to have a positive impact, you have to know who you are talking to and how they will best respond to your intended message.

The second piece of communication to think about is how you are sending your message. The words mean little when combined with your tone, volume, and your body language. Great leaders understand that communication is a tool that they can control. They understand how to use tone, pitch and body language to deliver the message that hits their point while taking into account the communication style of the receiver of the message. Remember, how you deliver the message will impact the receiver of your message much more then the actual words you are saying.

2.) 100% Leadership: Leaders earn the respect of others through their commitment to the team, the vision, the company and the employees. They demonstrate integrity, respect for others, and they take time to listen to the concerns and needs of those around them. As a leader, earning the respect of those around you is priceless and critical to your success and the success of your organization. When you have demonstrated the ability to lead others, you earn the respect of those around you. Building a reputation of respect for others, a person who will listen to others and the ability to lead the company to success earns you the ability to be direct when you need to without losing the respect of those who report to you. This takes time and must be earned. Without developing the skills of an effective leader and demonstrating these skills day in and day out, you can’t expect that the message you are communicating will have the positive impact you intended. Think about it this way, how would you respond to a person who told you that “you are full of bull” if you didn’t respect his or her opinion in the first place?